As leaders, we love to stay in control. We want our fingers in every pot. We fear that if we lose control, things will break down into chaos. That’s why we micromanage, go to every single meeting, look over the shoulders of our employees.
Fighting for control isn’t necessary. In fact, it can harm our status as leaders. How do we loosen our grip on control, especially after a lifetime of practice? Here are the steps that my clients have found useful:
- Become Aware. Once you begin to see that you are attached to control, you can begin to make positive changes.
- Acknowledge That It’s True. After awareness comes acknowledgement. Stubbornly clinging to control can cause pain and suffering both to yourself and others. Recognize the fallout of acting out of control, whether it’s making other people wrong — or exhaust yourself trying to maintain it.
- Go To Center. Get centered in your body and mind. When you do, you make space for choosing differently. Hold the part of you that wants control, knowing that it won’t fundamentally change — but that you can learn how to work with it. When you don’t react from a place of needing control, you allow yourself the chance to respond from a place of letting go.
Coming Up: The Unconscious Agenda, Part Two: Staying Safe and Being Liked